My Life on the “G” List

We’ve all been there at one time or another. We meet someone, often times online, and after days or weeks of instant messaging and phone calls, we decide that we’re ready to “take the plunge” and actually meet face-to-face. Mind you, when that decision is made, we get nervous, anxious, second guess ourselves and wonder whether or not we made the right decision to take the next step. These were just some of the feelings I was dealing with a couple of days ago when I was driving to meet my date. He was someone I couldn’t wait to meet because we spent a lot of time getting to know each other online and over the phone and we were both very ready to meet in person. I’m just grateful the urge to cancel our first date on Sunday (due to nerves) left his mind as quickly as it entered.

We met at a coffee shop. We both agreed a neutral location was best. I went there with no intentions beyond just getting to know him better. We stayed there for about a half-hour while he smoked another cigarette or two and finished his hot tea. I could tell he was still a bit on edge, as was I, but I assured him there was nothing to worry about. I was very happy with him and he seemed genuinely pleased with me. We left the coffee shop and took a walk. It was a gorgeous day and we eventually reached some train tracks which we followed to a more central part of town. (For the record, the tracks aren’t really used too much. We didn’t have to worry about being creamed by a freighter or anything.) Anyways, we found another coffee lounge and decided to spend time chatting some more. His order: flavored coffee; mine: a french vanilla cappuccino. I know you like the details. I’m a giver.

So while we were there, I found myself more and more smitten with him. I wanted to just take him in my arms and kiss him, and remind him not to be so uptight. I remember having to go to the restroom and I asked him where it was. He directed me to it and began to chuckle a bit. I asked him why and he told me to be on the lookout for the picture of Jesus. Um yeah. Apparently, the owner has a Jesus fetish. Pictures of Jesus were everywhere. It was a bit unnerving given that I have bashful bladder syndrome (sometimes). I think I counted at least seven pictures. Jesus praying, Jesus and his boy toys (oops, I mean disciples) and the Last Supper, Jesus in the clouds, and so on. It was a special moment I will never forget. So I finished my bizness and headed back out. He laughed again when he saw the look on my face. We continued talking.

Eventually, he pulled out his Zune player, handed me one of the earbuds and played some tunes for me. We had to sit closer together so as not to stretch the earbuds too far. Our eyes kept meeting and he’d just playfully smile – and so would I – and then we’d quickly look away like little boys as if we were embarrassed for getting caught. It was a total “Lady and the Tramp” moment – minus the spaghetti and meatballs. We were so fucking cute, it was nauseating…but in a good way. I’m a total romantic, and this was just incredibly, adorably intense. But it was all good. Long before our first date, he was already referring to me as his “dork.” So I was just playing the part. Hehe.

Well, after about an hour or so of talking and music, we left to find some dinner. We ended up at this place called “Jon’s Diner.” Totally this little sort of 1950’s style diner with the carport things where you pull up and order and they bring your food out. Only we walked there, so standing in front of the intercom would have been incredibly idiotic, not to mention completely unsafe. So we opted to go inside. We both ordered Gyros and Vernors soda. Again, I know it’s all about the details. So there you go. We managed to close the place (which basically means we would have been kicked out had we not left) and walked back to where our day originally began – just across the street from the college campus.

We got back to my car and I grabbed a jacket and we walked around campus for a bit. All I kept thinking was, man I hope this night ends with a kiss. I’ve never wanted to kiss a guy so much in my life. Classes had just ended last week, so the campus was pretty well deserted. We covered a lot of ground and eventually he pulled out his Zune again and we were walking very closely listening to music. Finally we reached an area with a lot of trees and benches. We had a seat and you could have cut the tension with a knife. He put the music player away and we chatted for a few minutes and I found myself wanting to take his hand in mine. I kept hoping he would make the first move. I didn’t have to hope very long. He slowly put his arm around me, took my hand and we just sort of looked at each other for a moment…

And then, there it was…that wonderful moment where it seems the world stops and you’re the only two people in it. He leaned in and we kissed. Our embrace tightened and the kissing became more passionate. I never wanted it to end. We were there for awhile, just holding each other, kissing and talking. Finally, it was getting late and we went back to my car. It was time for me to get on the road to go back home and for him to do the same. We got in my car, I locked up, and we chatted for a few more minutes. And then we just kissed and kissed. Neither of us wanted it to end. Finally I said, you should get home. He said, I know. We kissed again. It was fucking amazing. Neither of us cared it was now after 11 p.m. Finally we had our last embrace and kiss. He unlocked the door, opened it…and then it happened.

My car alarm started screaming…well, actually honking. Very loudly and obnoxiously, and I COULD NOT get it to shut up. I tried everything I could think of. After a couple of minutes of trying everything I knew to turn it off (it would stop momentarily and then start in again), bright lights rounded a corner and there he was…a police officer from the university. I literally wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I have never been more embarrassed in my life. The officer comes to my window and says, “what seems to be the problem?” I could barely muster, “um yeah, my alarm won’t stop. I’m not sure what to do.” My date is trying hard not to laugh at the situation that becomes increasingly more embarrassing with each passing minute. Finally, I turn off the car, get out, lock the doors, hit the alarm button again, and it stops…and doesn’t start again. Praise Jesus. Finally.

I was a complete mess following the episode and I’m sure the officer got a good laugh at my expense. For those who are wondering, yes, there was a point where I think the officer wondered if this was even my car and I totally told him I would get my papers, he said it wasn’t necessary. I’m sure the neighbors in the area were probably more than annoyed with me and my obnoxious Buick car alarm, but live and learn. I know now what I did. After my date and I got in the car, I locked it using the keyless entry system (three cheers for the dork!), thus arming the alarm system. If I had just used the door lock/unlock button on the inside, it would not have engaged the security system. Oh well, it makes for a funny story. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

After all was said and done and the officer was gone, my date came to my window, laughed some more, told me not to even worry about it, that his car does that to him all the time. I was relieved, though still a bit embarrassed. Then he did something amazing: he told me I was adorable through the entire situation then leaned down to kiss me just to prove it. We shared another passionate moment and went our separate ways. Needless to say, a very good (and memorable) first date. And for the record, I’m seeing him again this evening. The end of the work day can’t come soon enough!