My Life on the “G” List

As hard as I might try, I can’t keep up with all of the gossip in Hollywood. It’s as difficult as trying to keep up with all of the drama on the only soap I watch: The Young and the Restless. Shut up, bitches. I watch it for the hunks…who doesn’t? My favorite hottie to salivate over from time to time is Cain. I love his looks, his body, his accent – omg, I don’t care what you do to me — just talk to me!! Fuck! See there…popping a woody just thinking about him. Down boy!

So anyways, I’m sitting at work yesterday in my office listening to the radio, perusing the web and sipping on my Red Bull when I hear the DJ talk about the latest news from Hollywood. Turns out a famous couple that everyone assumed would be together for the long haul called it quits recently. It’s funny to me how sometimes even when I am not directly paying attention to something, my subconscious is still tuning in. The radio station I listen to here in the fair hamlet of Saginaw, Michigan is Magic 106.3. Every day, the station has a trivia question called “Total Recaller” where you have to answer a question about something they mentioned on air earlier in the day (ya know, to see if you were paying attention and all).

Turns out I was – paying attention. It came time for the total recaller question and you have to be caller number five. She asked the question and it was: earlier today I talked about a famous Hollywood couple who recently decided to call it quits. Who is this couple? I was like a little girl. In the sanctuary of my little office, I was jumping up and down on the inside – I know this, I know this! So I called. First time it rang the voice said, “you’re caller 3.” I was like, “fuck, I blew it.” I hung up and hit redial…

DJ: “Hi Magic 106.3, who’s this?”
Me: “This is Rob.”
DJ: Hi Rob! Congratulations, you’re caller five. OK, today’s total recaller question…we mentioned earlier today that a famous Hollywood couple is calling it quits. Who’s splitting up and going their separate ways that everyone thought would be together forever?”
Me: “Well, if I was listening correctly, I think it’s John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston.
DJ: “John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston, that’s right! Maybe you can move in now, Rob since she’s single once again…”
Me: “Um yeah, I’m going after John, thanksssss.”
(just kidding, I actually said “um yeah, probably not, but I’ll take a number and get in line.” I had to sound like a straight bro at least for a minute or two!)
DJ: “Congratulations Rob, for knowing that you’re going to get…”
(shit, what the fuck am I playing for? I didn’t even pay attention to what the prize was going to be today. knowing my luck it will be a pass for a massage at a day spa or something equally ridiculous that I can’t use…)
DJ: “two tickets to the Regeneration Tour concert in Detroit next weekend. What station plays the Tri-Cities best variety and just made you a winner, Rob?”
Me: “Magic 106.3″

So she took my information. The above conversation is what played over the airwaves for all the world to hear. Well, for all of mid-Michigan to hear, anyway. So I immediately had to go and take a look online at what the heck the Regeneration Tour is. It actually looks like it might be decent. I was a child of the 80s and still love that music to this day. The Regeneration Tour includes: Naked Eyes (Always Something There to Remind Me), ABC (Be Near Me, When Smokey Sings), The Human League (Don’t You Want Me, Human), Belinda Carlisle (ex lead singer of the Go-Gos, Mad About You, Heaven Is A Place on Earth) and A Flock of Seagulls (I Ran). It was also supposed to include Dead or Alive (You Spin Me Round Like a Record), but someone is sick and they had to bail on the tour.

So I will decide if I want to go. I really like some of those bands, but you wonder if they can still sing years later. I was reading something yesterday that said ABC, The Human League and Belinda Carlisle are awesome and still sound fantastic. Naked Eyes is not bad, it said, but A Flock of Seagulls not so much. Anyways, if the major headliners are good, it would be worth going to reminisce a bit. It’s free tickets and it’s a chance to get out of here for a bit and go to Detroit. Good times. Now to find out who to take with me…hmmm. The highest bidder perhaps?? LOL

Another weekend is upon us. Hope you all find ways to have fun and be as naughty as you wanna be. Don’t disappoint me, bitches. Get out there and scandalize this country! Woot, woot!